Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
