Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
