my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
