If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
