That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
