mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
