you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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