Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
