She is in my trunk
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
