...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
