I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The power of my boobs compel you
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
