We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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