Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
