I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
