i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am one with the molecules
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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