i just made my gag reflex go away.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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