You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dick very happy bro
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
