The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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