i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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