I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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