Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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