Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
