I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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