I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
