I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
