I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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