I'm going to jail i love you
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
