but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
