i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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