Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
What a dumb baby whore.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
