Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
