I hate your face
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
