I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
