Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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