i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
