All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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