worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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