They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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