it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
