That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
