i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
