My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
