Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
