i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
