There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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