I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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