Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
