We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
