I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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