Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
